Undesirable Job #5

A word of caution to those who innocently buy fresh fish at the supermarket. If you don't request it, they don't gut or scale the fish for you. My friend and I learnt this the hard way last night while unhappily scaling some bream. As I used a make-shift scaler to remove the nasty stuff, I was damn glad that I didn't work at the fish market. Imagine sloshing around in slimy dampness all day gutting and scaling fish, getting all sorts of disgusting stuff in your hair and clothes and eternally smelling fishy.

Glad it ain't me.

Back in business

So I've been slacking off, but I've got a valid excuse since I've been flat-hunting and trying to dig through all my stuff stored in boxes. Anyway, the point is, I'm back in town. I haven't been sending 100 resumes to every recruitment agent in town, but what I have done is register a business name, get myself an ABN, and hopefully be respectfully self-employed very soon. Did anyone know that the tax office conducts free assistance visits to anyone setting up small business? They do, and they even reveal all the secret things you can do to take full advantage of our tax system. The nice man who came to visit me with tons of helpful booklets even gave me a free record-keeping CD. I don't even have to set up my own tax invoice. Never thought I'd say this, but I'm quite impressed with the Australian Tax Office.

Recently

While I was vacationing in Bali, a recruitment agent emailed me to ask me if I was interested in interviewing with a certain company in town. When she revealed the name I recognized it and promptly informed her that I had been interviewed by them 2 years ago and that I would pass since it didn't work out that time. She curtly emailed me back implying that I should go or it was my loss. I didn't bother to tell her that the last time I went to this company, the interviewer was a stuck-up dick who made me wait for 30 minutes then rushed through my interview in 30 minutes without seeming interested in my portfolio.

On vacation

So, to make the most of my joblessness, I've decided to fuck everything and am vacationing in Bali for 2 weeks. No looking at ads for a while, that can wait. Meanwhile, blue skies, lounging by the pool, reading crappy novels, and volcano climbing. The real world can wait a while longer. This is my favourite jobless activity.

Googling

Sometimes I can't help but think the internet is like the Wizard Of Oz. At times of need so many souls type questions onto the search bar and maybe expect some kind of answer to all their sorrows turn up on Google.

These poor people in the US searched for '30 year old jobless parents' upon which I wish I could direct them to the person who searched for 'jobless everything will be ok'. I wonder if they found what they were looking for, even if just for a little while.

The funnies

Some poor soul from the UK googled the following:

'Life is shit I'm a jobless loser with no money and travelling'.

And got directed to me. At this I couldn't help myself but lol'd.

Undesirable Job #4

Continuing on from the last episode, I think I'm going to document every piece of undesirable job I come across to remind myself to be thankful I'm not the one who has to do it.

The people who work at the car cleaners located in the deepest realms of public car parks. The air here is stifling, smelly, and heavily polluted with car fumes. There is no view to the world outside, and one is buried in this dungeon-like situation the entire day. Imagine having to stay in this condition washing people's dirty-ass cars for 8-10 hours daily. If you never had claustrophobia, you just might develop it.

Glad it ain't me.

For hire

I've been looking at recruitments for a couple of weeks now and things aren't looking rosy. Since I'm not even in the country most people don't even bother with my resume. I guess they're right. I'm also being extremely picky because I'm still not in the position where I have to prostitute my skills doing something I hate for average money.

Sometimes I get bouts of lowness but then I remember all the times I have looked for work, and just when everything seemed bleak and gloomy, something fantastic always pops up. I never have to look more than a month for work. But then, it's the bloody recession now. Now who wants to employ an overpaid architect?

Undesirable jobs #1, 2, 3

You know what sucks about being jobless? Money ain't coming in! Ok, maybe I'm being a bit picky. And all this extra time in this foreign country. I just thought of something. What would suck even more than being jobless, is actually having a job that is one of this:

The poor bugger who has to put cling wrap around everyone's luggage at the airport.

The miserable bastard at the souvenir shop with no customers.

The cranky dude selling Euroline tickets.

Actually there are whole lot more other jobs I wouldn't want to do, but that's my list for today. If you're the poor bugger who works at the airport reading this, I'm so sorry for you.

Snobbery

I've come to notice that recruiting agents just don't answer their damn emails anymore. You write to them politely, you attach a sample of your portfolio, and what do you get? Absolutely zilch.

I've written to quite a few, and I'm getting bloody sick of it. If there's anything worse than real estate agents, it's recruiting agents. Just like tax and death, they're just two things people have to face no matter how hard they try to avoid them.

A few things

Things I have achieved in the past week.

1. Applied for a job I could potentially be excited about only to get a reply saying they can't wait till I return to Sydney.

2. Thought up a business name which I find to be quite clever seeing that it combines elements of myself and my profession.

3. Designed a logo for the business. Needs some fine-tuning.

4. Almost finished with the first draft of my e-book. Just a couple more thousand words I think.

5. Wrote an article about drinking.

Haven't I got my priorities right?

Money talks

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate talking about money. Unfortunately in an Asian society, the benchmark for success revolves around it. Work as well, since people need to work for money. Nobody really cares that you've traveled around the world, seen places, met people, become enlightened and happy. No, no one gives a shit. After being away for so long, the first thing people say is, 'So, I heard you quit your job and spent all your money'.

Sadly, I'm also in the position of being compared to a younger sibling, who has gone down the 'traditional' route in which money comes first. That is all fine and dandy with me, since each person has their own pursuits of happiness, but what I truly despise is being criticized blatantly for the path that I've taken. Without any attempt at understanding any personal motivations, the comments being made are 'it's stupid to take off and travel on a miniscule budget then come home with no job. Better to accumulate as much wealth as possible now and travel luxuriously later'.

Perhaps what they fail to grasp are all the other meaningful things one experiences traveling the way I did. Sleeping on stranger's couches, walking for miles alone in the snow and the cold, making human connections wherever I went because I didn't stay in a hotel - all these things have made me who I am today and this I wouldn't exchange for any amount of money. So I'm jobless now, but it's not the end of the world.

Catch-22

More often than not, Catch-22s present themselves in the strangest of ways. Last night, sitting in an fancy Japanese restaurant with a bunch of people (all employed except me and 2 children), I was offered a job in between mouthfuls of sushi and edamame beans. They want me to go be a design tutor at the college (now a university) I used to study in. A few days a week at a good hourly rate, with almost free reign to boss naive students around however I please. On top of that, site visits to exotic places like Bali will be included, flights and accommodation paid for.

The cons? I have to relocate to Malaysia and probably move back in with my parents. Endure the freaky traffic and humid weather. Risk being bored out of my mind on non-working days.

The other option, go back to Sydney, struggle to find work and accommodation. Maybe go on the dole if all else fails. But also a chance to start up my own thing and if successful, live happily ever after in the place I now know as home. I really like Sydney. Which would you choose?

About A Boy

As I start off another 11am morning rudely awoken by the construction going on next door, I began to wish I were Will. Will is the protagonist in Nick Hornby's 'About A Boy'. Will does nothing for a living. Yep, absolutely nothing. He lives off royalties from his father's one-hit wonder Christmas song.

Will is cool too. He has a cool haircut, a cool flat, cool clothes, a cool car. Only he is a bit of a loser sometimes. But he gets paid a fortune for doing nothing. This book amuses me. It's always important to be amused when one is unemployed.

Anyhow since I'm not Will, this is how I start a typical day.

Wake up at 10.30am.
Have a drink.
Take a shower.
Turn on the computer.
In order, I check emails, facebook, Seek, My Career, Real Estate. Ok, the other day I got a bit distracted and also went to check out cars.
Have lunch with my parents.
Come back and work on my website content a little bit.
Maybe write one article/work on my e-book.
Have dinner with my parents.
Watch TV.
Go back to the internet.
Read a book to try to sleep at a decent hour.
End up going to bed at 3am, tossing and turning.
Repeat all of the above.

I love my life.

5 other things you can also do

I forgot to mention that besides all the useful things I suggested yesterday, one can also do tons of useless things to fill up time. I mean, you do have lots of it.

1. Watch every episode from Lost. Maybe if you zombie out in front of the TV, you will finally get what is going on.

2. Read books like 'The 15-point Guide To Pee-ing In The City'. This is a real book, though short and succinct. I know because I have read it. Though it is rather sexist, since 14 out of the 15 points is targeted at men only.

3. Whip out that old stamp collection and start reminiscing. What? You mean no one else collected stamps?? What about erasers? I used to collect those too.

4. Switch to MTV, and wait for '100 greatest hits of the 90's' to come on the show. Then start feeling nostalgic and write down all those songs you used to listen to as a teenager. Then log onto the internet and download everything, in case you ever need to throw a 90's themed party.

5. If you still have NKOTB cassette tapes, dust them off and reminisce. If you still have tapes. If you still have a cassette tape player. If you remember NKOTB.

5 Jobless Activities

All of a sudden, we have all the time in the world. No more 6am wake-up calls, long commutes, dull meetings. But what to do with this time? There's plenty of things we can do to keep ourselves occupied while jobless. Some useful examples include:

1. Learn a new language
If you have always wanted to learn French or Spanish or Chinese, now's the time to do it. You'll have tons of free time to practice, and the new skill might even be helpful in your job-hunting. Personally, I'm struggling through French.

2. Go back to school
Other than picking up languages, there are also plenty of of other new skills which might be beneficial. Whether you want to learn a new computer program or take up art class, any new skill you acquire will not go to waste. You might even uncover a hidden talent you never knew you had.

3. Travel
I know everyone is going to scorn at this because traditionally people need money to travel. It would be hard without a job. But contrary to what people say, you can travel cheaply or for free. You might even find that taking a hike around the globe is even cheaper than paying rent and bills in your hometown. Plus, you will gain invaluable worldly experiences no job can ever provide.

4. Explore a career change
Fed-up with your old job? Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something. Being jobless opens up many new doors as one begins to explore other work options they never would have considered before. My brother gave up a job in an IT-related background to venture into the food industry, and is now running a successful business.

5. Write about your experience
Hey, that's what I'm doing. It's always helpful to read about other people's experiences and together build a community to support one another. Perhaps someone has a great idea that no one has ever thought of, and it's nice to share ideas.

I wonder what everyone else is doing?

Starting over

I don't know whether it's a curse or a blessing, but I quit my job last year to travel for about 9 months. After I left the company I later discovered that most of its employees were made redundant, and it was a good thing I left because I think my head would have been on the chopping block eventually.

So in the wake of the world economic crisis, I went and traveled in one of the most expensive places in the world - Europe. Now after spending a good chunk of my savings, I'm done with my trip and back visiting my parents for a bit, and to think of new ways to earn income. When I say a bit, it has already been 5 weeks and I haven't really come up with many ingenius ideas. Yet.

Anyway while asking some of my dear friends for ideas on a good domain name for a travel website that I had been thinking about, one smartarse one said 'how about 30andjobless.com'. At first I thought she was just being mean but since I haven't made any other progress, here we are. Enjoy.